Drivers wanted: Normal-smelling ones need not apply

Dear Volkswagen of America, Inc.,

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for sending me such a lovely gift to commemorate the third anniversary of my purchase of my car. It was so kind of you not only to send me this classy air freshener with a picture of a chandelier on it, but also to enclose a note explaining that crystal is the traditional third-anniversary gift, somehow knowing that without this explanation, I would have spent another three years desperately wondering why you chose to mark this occasion with paper -- the traditional first-anniversary gift -- instead.

Furthermore, I would like to thank you for sending a gift that not only can be enjoyed by my car, but which is currently gracing the entire household -- and possibly neighborhood -- with its presence. My dinner, which did not at any point pass closer than within about three feet of said gift while opening my mail this evening, now permanently tastes like some sort of cleaning product.

Finally, I would like to thank you for removing any doubt in my mind that Volkswagen has in fact stopped being a "cool" corporation of the type to distribute such creative gimmicks as the Fahrvergn├╝gen shirt and has indeed irreconcilably stooped below the level of even the Saturn-owner picnic.

A proud VW owner who will never be able to distinguish tastes again


Humour and last laugh said...


Jodie said...

They just sent me coasters!

They don't smell. They came in a cool can, too.

All Hyundai sent me after buying a new car from them was a recall notcie. VW is a definite improvement.

eeka said...

Oh, but Hyundai gives you presents like new shocks and stuff. ;o)

How DID you know I was going to ask if your coasters smell?

EEK said...

Don't worry; being from Volkswagen, it will start malfunctioning soon.

Anonymous said...

that is so funny. I suppose having a used VW like we do means you don't get gifts like that, seeing as you've already been with other cars, as has your car.

Blended families. Sniff. Weep. Still not embraced by major corpoations.

i like your fun with technology picture. that was awesome.

Anonymous said...

oh, by the way, that anonymous comment was me.

-christine at (a)musings

eeka said...

Mine is used, but I got it certified pre-owned, so I got the warranty and the VW club memberhsip and all that coolioness.