I've been finding ants swarming around my kitchen for the past few days. Not any sort of harmful kind, but just the annoying tiny black ones. You know, particularly annoying because they do stuff like weave across the floor in a perfect squiggly line, parade around waving a crumb like a head on a stick, and so forth.
So this morning I found about 5000 ants in the cat food dish. One of the cats seems to find them sort of amusing and fun to paw at and the other cat is terrified of them. I emptied out the cat food dish, cleaned it thoroughly, and vacuumed up about 4999 ants (one went squiggling under the stove). Hey, they were alive when they got sucked up the hose, so that means I wasn't responsible for killing them. Well except for the one who marched one by one across my toe who I therefore had to smash. Sorry, Buddha.
10 minutes later, I go into the kitchen, and the ant I missed has, through some miracle of immaculate conception, multiplied into another 5000 ants. Who really enjoy cat food. This time I got smart. After wasting another bowl of cat food (I should also mention that the cats won't eat if the bottom of the bowl is showing. One of them doesn't seem to mind if thousands of ants are showing though.), I set the cat food bowl in the middle of a large baking pan and poured water in to make a moat around the cat food bowl.
An hour passed and I dared to go into the kitchen. I was relieved to not find any sort of army in the cat food this time, though there were 3 ants who did make it into the cat food. And about 50 drowned little ant corpses. Sorry, Buddha.
They can SWIM.
Tomorrow I'm headed to CVS first thing to buy myself a package of those little ant Auschwitzes.
Deal with it, Buddha.