Yesterday, as it had been more than seven business days, I called their 800 number and was put on hold five times for a total call duration of 22 minutes, to learn that she had never been added to the account. I tried calling the branch multiple times to figure out why this was, and each time, I was told that only the person who had initially helped me could help me, and he was at lunch. Twice in one day, in fact. Wouldn't the second one have then been dinner? Or perhaps the first one would have been breakfast?
Today, I got smart and went into the branch. I told the person (not the same one) what was going on. He pulled up the account and found that the signature card had not been processed and the ATM card had not been ordered. So, he got on the phone with the people who deal with ordering cards, who said they could FedEx the card and we could have it the next day. OK, that's acceptable. Wait, then he tells me that she wouldn't receive the PIN in the mail for seven business days, so the FedEx'd card would be useless. Couldn't they FedEx the PIN too? No, they don't expedite PINs, only cards. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
So, he said we can expect the card in another seven business days. I explained to him that three-plus weeks to be able to use your bank account is pretty ridiculous, and he agreed, and said he'd refund us five dollars. Gee, thanks.