Due to recent actions on the part of some of my coworkers, I feel it necessary to provide the microwave users of the world with some guidelines.
In order to reduce the risk of serious damage to others and/or self, the following items should not be microwaved in the workplace:
- scrambled eggs
- turpentine-noodle soup
- an entire chicken
- something I can only presume was canned dog food
Any violations may result in beverages being accidentally spilled on said food products.