9:08 Oh, liveblogging might kind of suck tonight, because my interwebs is down and I'm stealing wireless from a neighbor. Thanks, neighbor!
9:13 "Madame speaker." HELL YEAH. But not listed in the drinking game.
9:14 Praised a democrat by name (Nancy Pelosi) DRINK!
9:16 "Spending the people's money wisely." How's that going for you?
9:17 THE AMERICAN PEOPLE! DRINK!
9:18 It's pronounced EEKAnomic, you incompetent fool.
You want to balance the budget? I've heard you're spending quite a bit of money on buying tanks and leaving children behind.
9:19 URRMRRS? Is he trying to say "earmarks?"
9:21 Medicare! Medicaid! Drink!
9:22 Education! Drink!
Hahaha. He said "I passed No Child Left Behind" and paused for applause, only no one did.
9:22 Standing ovation from half of congress! DRINK!
9:26 "Pro-DECT" DRINK!
9:27 John Kerry! DRINK! My congressman/woman! DRINK!
9:28 TERRISTS! DRINK!
9:29 Why wasn't stuff about a bigass fence along the Mexican border on the list?
9:30 TERRISTS! DRINK!
Oh, he's introduced some initiatives. Drinkretroactively. I was too busy bitching about his initiatives.
Will you PLEASE say "hydrogen?" PLEASE!?
9:33 Standing ovation from half! Drink!
W. and Cheney took a sip of water at the same time. Assuming that's water. That's gotta be worth a drink.
9:34 He said "judges" and they panned to them. Ditto.
9:34 Only Cheney applauding. DRINK! Oh, and half of congress! DRINK!
glug glug glug glug
allies...offense...enemies...if this stuff was on there, I'd be drunk
Dayum, after about three years of having them on the drinking game, they took out the obvious stuff, like 9/11, anthrax, Al Qaeda...
terrists, terra, terrists...
9:37 Beavis, what the hell are you talking about?
9:38 Terrizing! Freedom!
Damn, they used to also include "every time he uses a word with more than 4 syllables."
What are she-extremists? Drink.
Iran! He even pronounced it right. Terrists. Terra. Terrists.
9:39 Hillary! Barack! Drinkdrinkdrinkdrink.
Hey. He was talking about the "five years since we were attacked," but he just said "six" that time.
Kerry (again, worth two drinks since he's ours!)
9:40 Terrist! Freedom!
9:41 HOLY SHIT Condi has a look on her face like she's taking a dump.
Did he just say "in 3005, the people of Afghanistan..."?
Hey, where's Teddy Kennedy? (Fill in your own joke about him being drunk here)
OK, why's he recapping the world events of the past 6 years in details? Some of us are literate.
9:44 Half of congress is standing.
9:45 Do we get extra drinks if he says "ee-rock" and "eye-rack" in the same sentence?
Terrists. Terrists. Terrists. Terrists. Terrists. Iraq.
"Now it's time for their government to react." Yeah, THEIR government.
Baghdad. Baghdad. Baghdad. Iraq. Iraq.
9:47 Wassup with the repeated "my fellow Americans?" Like we need a reminder that the president is an American. What's next, "my fellow people who are older than 35?"
She-what? Repeat after me: shiite.
9:48 American people
9:49 Half a standing ovation, Dick Cheney applauding and Nancy Pelosi not
9:50 You haven't spoken with me in person!
No, you're right, I didn't vote for failure...I voted for Kerry.
A commission on terra? Is that an initiative? Oh, hell, DRINK!
9:51 Is he about to propose a draft?
Hey! They cut to a soldier. Where'd he come from?
They should also plant old people, uninsured people, schoolchildren, and illegal aliens so they can cut to them.
9:52 Nukeular. Nukeular. OH WHY WON'T HE SAY HYDROGEN?
9:53 Ted Kennedy! Drink! Hillary! Barack! glug glug glug
9:54 Hunger and poverty and disease? Where are the token people to cut to?
9:55 Yeah, fight AIDS in Africa, but continue to ignore it here and just tell people not to have sex.
9:56 Aside that I think is funny: NPR was talking last night about how he's been practicing this speech for 3 days. MMMMhmm.
9:57 Special guest, Dikembe Mutumbo! Drink!
9:58 OH NO YOU DID NOT INTRODUCE JULIE AIGNER-CLARK. OK, she's pretty cool because she's a female entrepreneur...but...Baby Einstein videos? *puke*
9:59 Oh, cool, they're talking about the dude who jumped onto the subway tracks and saved the guy who'd fallen. That's awesome. Hey, and he got more applause than anyone has tonight.
10:00 Special guest who is a member of the armed forces. Oh I've lost track. glug glug glug
10:02 characters...quality...COME ON! SAY GOD!
10:03 THE STATE OF THE UNION IS STRONG! DRINK!
UNDER AN HOUR! DRINK!
Hahahaha his approval rating is 26%, an all-time low. Love it.