9:08 Oh, liveblogging might kind of suck tonight, because my interwebs is down and I'm stealing wireless from a neighbor. Thanks, neighbor!
9:13 "Madame speaker." HELL YEAH. But not listed in the drinking game.
9:14 Praised a democrat by name (Nancy Pelosi) DRINK!
9:16 "Spending the people's money wisely." How's that going for you?
9:17 THE AMERICAN PEOPLE! DRINK!
9:18 It's pronounced EEKAnomic, you incompetent fool.
You want to balance the budget? I've heard you're spending quite a bit of money on buying tanks and leaving children behind.
9:19 URRMRRS? Is he trying to say "earmarks?"
9:21 Medicare! Medicaid! Drink!
9:22 Education! Drink!
Hahaha. He said "I passed No Child Left Behind" and paused for applause, only no one did.
9:22 Standing ovation from half of congress! DRINK!
9:26 "Pro-DECT" DRINK!
9:27 John Kerry! DRINK! My congressman/woman! DRINK!
9:28 TERRISTS! DRINK!
9:29 Why wasn't stuff about a bigass fence along the Mexican border on the list?
9:30 TERRISTS! DRINK!
NUKEULAR! DRINK!
ETHANOL! DRINK!
Oh, he's introduced some initiatives. Drinkretroactively. I was too busy bitching about his initiatives.
Will you PLEASE say "hydrogen?" PLEASE!?
9:33 Standing ovation from half! Drink!
W. and Cheney took a sip of water at the same time. Assuming that's water. That's gotta be worth a drink.
9:34 He said "judges" and they panned to them. Ditto.
9:34 Only Cheney applauding. DRINK! Oh, and half of congress! DRINK!
TERRISTS!
HOMELAND!
HARRAS!
TERRISTS!
glug glug glug glug
allies...offense...enemies...if this stuff was on there, I'd be drunk
9:36 terrists...terrists...terra...terrism...terra...
Dayum, after about three years of having them on the drinking game, they took out the obvious stuff, like 9/11, anthrax, Al Qaeda...
terrists, terra, terrists...
EVIL!
9:37 Beavis, what the hell are you talking about?
9:38 Terrizing! Freedom!
Damn, they used to also include "every time he uses a word with more than 4 syllables."
What are she-extremists? Drink.
Iran! He even pronounced it right. Terrists. Terra. Terrists.
9:39 Hillary! Barack! Drinkdrinkdrinkdrink.
Hey. He was talking about the "five years since we were attacked," but he just said "six" that time.
Kerry (again, worth two drinks since he's ours!)
9:40 Terrist! Freedom!
9:41 HOLY SHIT Condi has a look on her face like she's taking a dump.
Did he just say "in 3005, the people of Afghanistan..."?
Iraq!
Kerry! +2
Hey, where's Teddy Kennedy? (Fill in your own joke about him being drunk here)
OK, why's he recapping the world events of the past 6 years in details? Some of us are literate.
Iran. Terra.
9:44 Half of congress is standing.
9:45 Do we get extra drinks if he says "ee-rock" and "eye-rack" in the same sentence?
Terrists. Terrists. Terrists. Terrists. Terrists. Iraq.
"Now it's time for their government to react." Yeah, THEIR government.
Troops!
Baghdad. Baghdad. Baghdad. Iraq. Iraq.
9:47 Wassup with the repeated "my fellow Americans?" Like we need a reminder that the president is an American. What's next, "my fellow people who are older than 35?"
Terra.
She-what? Repeat after me: shiite.
Also, drink.
9:48 American people
9:49 Half a standing ovation, Dick Cheney applauding and Nancy Pelosi not
9:50 You haven't spoken with me in person!
No, you're right, I didn't vote for failure...I voted for Kerry.
Troops! Drink!
Terra.
A commission on terra? Is that an initiative? Oh, hell, DRINK!
9:51 Is he about to propose a draft?
Hey! They cut to a soldier. Where'd he come from?
They should also plant old people, uninsured people, schoolchildren, and illegal aliens so they can cut to them.
9:52 Nukeular. Nukeular. OH WHY WON'T HE SAY HYDROGEN?
9:53 Ted Kennedy! Drink! Hillary! Barack! glug glug glug
9:54 Hunger and poverty and disease? Where are the token people to cut to?
9:55 Yeah, fight AIDS in Africa, but continue to ignore it here and just tell people not to have sex.
9:56 Aside that I think is funny: NPR was talking last night about how he's been practicing this speech for 3 days. MMMMhmm.
9:57 Special guest, Dikembe Mutumbo! Drink!
9:58 OH NO YOU DID NOT INTRODUCE JULIE AIGNER-CLARK. OK, she's pretty cool because she's a female entrepreneur...but...Baby Einstein videos? *puke*
9:59 Oh, cool, they're talking about the dude who jumped onto the subway tracks and saved the guy who'd fallen. That's awesome. Hey, and he got more applause than anyone has tonight.
10:00 Special guest who is a member of the armed forces. Oh I've lost track. glug glug glug
10:02 characters...quality...COME ON! SAY GOD!
10:03 THE STATE OF THE UNION IS STRONG! DRINK!
GOD! DRINK!
UNDER AN HOUR! DRINK!
Hahahaha his approval rating is 26%, an all-time low. Love it.
2 comments:
Hilarious, eeka, thanks. I feel like I didn't miss much (since I can't get drunk and get up at 5:30am tomorrow morning)!
Thanks Lynne!
I got up at 6, but I actually only had one whole drink over the course of the whole thing -- they were small sips.
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