Disney Presents: Get Your Fucking Minivan Full Of Prostitots Out Of My City

[Disclaimer for certain commenters who take my blog entirely too seriously: No, I don't actually believe in the restriction of activities that aren't harming anyone, and yes, I realize I am extremely hypocritical for being a proponent of diversity while spending much of my time making fun of white upper-middle-class culture or lackthereof, and yes, I also realize that my hobby of making fun of certain demographics means that nothing I say is credible. Now move along.]

That being said, this morning I was looking forward to free parking at the meters outside my office, in honor of the birthdays of a couple of dead guys. A little background: I usually take the train to work, but on days that there's a good shot at free parking, and when I have to be somewhere north or west of the city after work, I try to drive in and park so I'll have a 10-minute drive in the morning and a 10-minute drive to my evening destination, rather than taking the train home and then sitting in traffic for 45 minutes and destroying the planet even more. When I have the money, it's even worth the $10 or $15 to park downtown when my schedule is such that doing so would save a lot of fuel and carbon emissions.

So this morning I got to work, expecting to see rows of empty meters, as there usually are on holidays. The meters were all full, with people double-parked all over the place. A little odd for a holiday. I drove around a bit and found the same all over the area, plus the orange-flag-waving parking guys at the businesses with lots; again, odd for any weekday morning, and particularly odd for a holiday. So I realized I wasn't going to get a meter spot, and I went into the North Station garage. When I got close to the garage, I found myself stuck in a pack of minivans driven by folks with a suburbanesque lack of ability to merge.

I finally parked, then rode the elevator up to North Station and found myself in a crowd of white people with their prostitots in tow. They were allowing their scantily clad brats to twirl around with their wands, not caring that there was also a (much smaller) contingent of people trying to get places. One hairdoed woman glared at a guy with a newspaper and briefcase for hurrying through the 983459th posed photograph she was taking of a 6-year-old with a tulle skirt, bikini top, too-big high heels, and a hairdo and makeup.

I did catch a glimpse of a sign on the way out indicating that they're showing Disney on Ice all day today. This didn't really make any of this better. Since when does going to a performance (at 9am on a weekday, especially) warrant dressing up your child as a whore? In fact, does any occasion, really? And really, how about if next time you bring your child here, you give them the authentic big-city experience, where you ride the train into town and pack against the walls of the train station like the rest of us so that people can walk by?


3 comments:

Jodie said...

A lot of people who live an hour or so from the city are absolutely terrified of taking public transportation. Not so much of violence or what not (uh, though today's stabbing at Back Bay wouldn't have done much to help with that perception), but more of the immenseness that is the MBTA. It's not well laid out, signage is poor, you often don't know what stop you're at until after you get there because the announcements are wrong, employees are rude, and no one seems to have any sympathy for the out-of-towner that doesn't know what they're doing because they don't have public transportation in their area anyways. I think ONCE when I was a kid, we took the T when we spent a weekend in Boston. That was the only time. I didn't use it again until high school when I was going into the city with friends instead of family. (My dad would take it on his own during some of his hospitalizations when he was allowed to go wander around the city for a few hours, but my wouldn't. She still won't.) I have a number of clients that go into the city for various reason who absolutely refuse to take the T. It's just way too intimidating for a lot of people.

Not that any of them should be dressing their children like whores, but I completely understand why they're driving in instead of taking the T.

thesouthender said...

Sorry, but its just more entitled suburbanites who are too "special" to take the T. Carbon emissions be damned, I have three kids. I'm special!!

Lyss said...

I love that word- prostitots! (not that I love the idea of them... that's so wrong to let your kids wander sround like that... in the Winter.)

I had a similar experience at teh grocery store in teh burbs near where I work this week. I tend to go when school's in session, like around 1:30pm. Usually it's just men and the senior citizens. Big mistake. Lots of kiddies not obey parents.