IKEA launches "my first candle" -- made especially for dwellings where occupants are not familiar with such devices

1) Allow candle to burn for at least 20 hours to allow sufficient break-in time for the wick.
2) Do not measure candle while it is lit. For your convenience, we have measured it at the factory.
3) Candle should only be used while sitting backwards on a rocking horse.
4) Do not allow dogs to bark at candles, as this may frighten the wax.
5) Similarly, do not measure distance between candles while lit. The distances may be calculated using the standard ratio for determining distance relative to height and flame temperature, or by consulting this handy chart.
6) This candle is not intended for use in popcorn cases, such as those found at fairs and sporting events.
7) Care should be taken to ensure that candle is placed near a canceled stamp while using.
8) Candles often exhibit fear of the sun, and may seek comfort from small robots. Rest assured that this is normal operation and is not a defect in manufacturing.
9) When providing a belt or other stylish accessory for one candle, make sure to provide similar for all candles, as they may otherwise exhibit jealousy.
10) Similarly, it is important to quickly address any type of conflict or tension that may exist between candles being employed together.
11) Should your candle be subjected to a beheading, do not attempt to reattach the head yourself, as this may result in the candle growing an unsightly tail in order to compensate.
12) When your candle is ready to undergo his brit milah, or "bris," the mohel may choose to use scissors or a knife, either of which is appropriate for the procedure.
13) When taking your candle outside, make sure that headwear fits snugly and is sufficiently warm. Hats may be tethered to coats or other outerwear to prevent loss in the event that the hat comes off.