Highly scientific Mike's Hard Lemonade research

Molly and I were talking about whether we prefer original Mike's Hard Lemonade or Mike's Hard Lime, and with what food pairings we prefer them and whatnot, when we started to wonder whether they actually taste different. We decided to do highly scientific research to answer our question.

Sample group: n = 2 (me and Molly)

We also included a control group, consisting of two self-selecting cats, in order to include subjects who were not at all familiar with Mike's products. However, the control group yielded no results, as they were not interested in tasting the Mike's due to being rather preoccupied with our burritos and nachos.

Each subject was blindfolded, then presented with a succession of Mike's beverages, each being either lemonade or lime, and then asked to identify the order in which they had been presented.

Subject 1 (eeka) identified them in the correct order, but was not very confident in having identified them correctly.

Subject 2 (Molly) identified 50% of the beverages correctly.

Conclusion: Mike's Hard Lemonade, along with the other varieties, are horrible products and should be disposed of immediately. In the event that your local public works department has not yet implemented a Mike's recovery program, please send your Mike's products to One Smoot Short of a Bridge, where they can be used for further research and then disposed of properly. Please note that Mike's Hard Berry can be disposed of simply by pouring it out, and should not be mailed.


4 comments:

Jodie said...

Try it again with double blind testing!

ericjay said...

I hope you didn't blindfold the control group!

eeka said...

Jodie, but that would require actual preparation, like wrapping up the bottles or pouring them into cups with writing on the bottom or something, as well as keeping some sort of tally sheet. Anything that cuts down on the actual drinking is not a good method.

Eric, it wasn't necessary. The members of the control group have been determined through past research to have minimal ability to process visual (or auditory, or tactile...) information in any sort of organized or meaningful way. [Pointer, Laser. (2009)]

Molly said...

Oh, I don't know...the one member of the control group processes input for DAYS after the actual input has stopped...