Federal court system freakin ROCKS

I got summonsed for federal jury duty during the high holy days. Also it was for being on-call for three weeks. I called them today to see if I could at the very least postpone it because of the holidays and also asked if there was any way I could do a shorter period or something because of work, because my clients can't just not have any services for three weeks. (Also, I'd lose all my private practice income, and my salaried job requires us to use vacation time to stay in paid/benefited status, and I don't have three weeks' worth, and I kind of need my health insurance.)

I talked to a very nice man named Jim, who apologized for not having thoroughly read my letter that he received today (!), then said that they would gladly postpone me, as they have the highest respect for religious observances. He also told me that he would be happy to let me choose any Monday in the next three months to come in rather than being on-call for three weeks, since they realize that life occurs outside of the courthouse, and the three-week on-call thing doesn't work for everyone. He said to just let them know I'd talked to Jim if anyone needed verification of this. I chose October 18. I really appreciated how respectful and upfront he was, and also that there seemed to be no bureaucratic bullshit in the way and he was able to access all of my information and change my date right then and there. Other government agencies *cough*MassHealth*cough* could really take a lesson from these folks. Jim rocks!

(Dammit, I forgot to ask him about beverages. The summons says no beverages, cellphones, or electronic devices are allowed in the courthouse. Yes, courthouse, not courtroom. I'll reluctantly give up my electronic device addiction for a couple days of course, but I need frequent beverages to avoid having angry neurology. I'm assuming they sell them in there, since they can't deprive people of beverages, right? Eh, either way, they have to at least have a faucet, right? So that'll cover the hydration issue, and I can bring non-liquid calorie-containing snacks to cover the blood-sugar issue, so I should be good. But really? Banning beverages? WTF. What did a beverage ever do to them? Also, the dictionary says water isn't a beverage, and I may take some in along with a printout of said definition. Bwahaha.)


Mr Punch said...

Beverages - same reason you can't take them onto a plane (although the courthouse doesn't have attendants coming around with tiny bottles of liquor).

eeka said...

It really ought to have those.

The thing only says "beverages," not "liquids in general." So if I need to blow up the courthouse, I'll make sure to do it with a large jug of aloe or something. Similarly, if I ever need to blow up a plane, I'll just put the explosive-fixins in a liquid medication jug. Security theatre, that's all that is.

(And now, I imagine I'm on some list somewhere.)