This is of course stupid, because it doesn't affect my employer in any way. They have to pay for the insurance anyway by state law. If my spouse or I legally changed one of our sexes, we wouldn't have that extra "income" on our W2 and we'd still have the same insurance and I'd still be doing the same excellent work for my employer at the same pay rate. However, my excellent work would still continue to be slightly affected by being pissed off every time I'm there that they pay people in same-sex partnerships less than people in different-sex partnerships instead of grossing up to offset it like progressive companies do.
Anyway, so I'm doing my taxes, and I'm trying to find a way to avoid paying $1500 to the federal government as a penalty for being gay. Right now I'm pondering IRS Topic 515: Casualty, Disaster, and Theft Losses. According to the IRS, "A theft is the taking and removing of money or property with the intent to deprive the owner of it. The taking must be illegal under the law of the state where it occurred and it must have been done with criminal intent." That seems like it should be applicable. It's illegal in Massachusetts for someone to impose a tax on queer people but not straight people, right? And it's the government; of course they have criminal intent. In terms of my employer, wouldn't it make it criminal intent since I've pointed out to them that my money is being taken because of their policies, and have shown them the information on how to gross up to make it fair, but they've decided to continue aiding and abetting the government. Sounds like theft to me.
*In the interest of avoiding being libelous, I will not refer to my employer as homophobic, since that's up to interpretation, but I will mention that they don't have any sort of LGBT employee resource group, don't have gender identity and expression in the nondiscrimination policy as is required by City of Boston law (even though I've brought this up to them), won't march in Pride like most other healthcare providers and nonprofits do because they say it's a political event so nonprofits shouldn't march in it, don't do any trainings on providing LGBT-sensitive healthcare or on being welcoming to LGBT employees, and out of 2000ish employees have only 7 people with same-sex partners on their insurance according to the benefits person in HR.